names and categories

Alice wonders if she’s Mabel. The White Rabbit thinks she’s Mary Ann. Alice forgets her name in a forest. The Fawn forgets too. Humpty Dumpty makes words do what he wants. Lily the white pawn has a name, but the other chess pieces just have titles. Hare becomes Haigha. Tweedles Dee and Dum have the same first names, but different last names.

Names and categories are useful, but I’m still ambivalent. Sometimes people overthink names and categories. Other times they don’t.

Sei Shonagon likes to list. It’s how she names and categorises. She lists pretty things. Fun and harmless, as long as you remember they’re just lists. Nothing wrong with finding a thing you like and giving it a name. Just don’t overthink it.

There are words I’m supposed to relate to, but don’t. Someone else decided those are the words I’d find familiar or use to describe myself with. Sometimes I’ll hear people use those kinds of words around me, and even though I know what they’re saying, it feels blank. It doesn’t mean nothing, but it would mean more if they said it different. If they said something simpler instead of just using the terms they’ve learned, the names and categories they’ve been told are correct.

A name can exist without a category. A category can exist without a name. And even when you name and categorise, there’s still something passing through the line. There’s still something that goes in and out of the circle.

I like my name. It’s mine.